27 October, 2006

I am going crazy

I hate working the 5 a.m. shift two days in a row. I get so tired that I don't want to do anything. I just want to sleep, but I end up hearing or dreaming weird things. For instance, today, I got to work and then signed in. I went to my desk and kicked back and tried to go to sleep. As I was about to fall asleep I hear someone walk by my desk, and it wakes me up. This happened 5 times. Every time it happened, I woke up really fast and got up to see who it was, and no one was there. Cool. Kind of scared the crap out of me.

23 October, 2006

My Top Ten Albums of the Year

These albums are not in any specific order. I just like them.

mewithoutYou - Brother, Sister
Jeremy Enigk - World Waits
The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
Greg Laswell - Through Toledo
Ed Harcourt - The Beautiful Lie
The Knife - Silent Shout
Division Day - Beartrap Island
Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
Hot Chip - The Warning
The Album Leaf - Into the Blue Again

Log 7: March 26th 1953

Winter was over, flowers were beginning to bloom. The sun was revealing through the dark clouds that I thought would never go away. I continued to walk by Joseline's home everyday to hear that beautiful, indescribable sound. My days seems treacherous and unworthy, but once a day a glimpse of light that made me breathe fresh air came out of that song. I had been working for her father, Thomas. He owned an old family run lumber yard, and I was there to make some money, with the bonus that Joseline came by every day. That was payment enough. Everyday that she would come by, I would make a promise to myself to talk to her. For the first ten days my mouth would open, but the only thing that would come out of my mouth was either uttered nonsense or saliva. On my eleventh day of employment my first word came out. "Hello," She echoed back with no hesitation. Everyday after I had planned to say one more word then the day prior. Day two, "Hello, ma'am." Day three, "How are you?" It was a lengthy process. By the ninth day she started a conversation with me. The sound of her voice was soothing. I knew that I was in love. My legs quivered as I asked if she would like to spend Saturday with me. Of course I couldn't take her to a nice night out, but a fun day, and dinner was within my grasp. Her response was less words, rather a giant shy smile stood out on her face. I walked to her home and picked her up. We walked to the nearby field where the blooming of the flowers rang with the smell of peacefulness. The yellows and greens were radiant. It was glorious and the time we spent together was indescribable. We ran throughout the shoulder high fields. For what seemed like hours. We talked and learned more about each other than I knew possible. The field was clear of trees except for one, a giant oak tree. The branches were incredibly thick, and the leaves were such a bright green that only the heavens shined through. Joseline ran around the body of the tree, and I chased her. She rid around one side. So I went the other way. As soon as she saw me, she turned the other way. The continued until we were tired, and decided to sit in the shade that the tree provided. We ate lunch, and talked. I asked her what she liked to do. No matter what she discussed was intriguing, but her knowledge of music and arts was unbelievable. She wanted to how me her music, and the excitement of being able to watch her play the song that made my life easier made me smile. As the sun began to go down and the night resonate we walked home. As we walked our hands connected, and at that moment I forgot that my life was a mess. The breeze from the streets made her shiver. I put my jacket around her, and turned her close to me. We stood there for what seemed like forever. I couldn't stop looking at her, my eyes were locked into hers, and hers mine. I could feel her breath and mine intersect, and I wanted to stay there forever. Without planning like most adventures I take my lips met hers. My arms held her in my arms and I wouldn't let go for nothing. When we got to her house hours had passed since the sun went down. I said goodnight, and she told me she couldn't wait to do it again. When she went inside I ran into the streets with joy, dancing which was a rarity for me. That night was the first time in many years that my heart didn't feel empty.

11 October, 2006

Downer Days

Yesteday was one of those days where you question what your doing. I was in a bummed out mood all day. I went to school and realized that I dont really have any friends at school. I mean I do, but I dont see them. There are all these people in my classes that know each each other and are talking about what they are going to do tonight, and I dont have that like I did in high school or whenever. Dont get me wrong, I have a great girlfriend, and my friends are the best and I wouldn't trade them ever, but today I just felt like I completly missed out on the college experience. Last night I went to see Sufjan Stevens, which was incredible. It was at U.C. Berkeley, which has a cool campus and it got me to thinking again about how I didn't get that cool college experience, that part of me wishes. I didn't know if I was alone in this, and after talking to Jon, and Jordan a little bit it made it a little better, but it was just one of those days where I felt like I had missed out on things.